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I want you to want me *sigh* Before I start this entry off I wanted to say that I HATE feeling vulnerable...showing it especially. Which is why this whole entry is going to contradict what I just said because I feel like I need to just let out some of this...frustration. Oh well. Blegh...holiday season....I'm wanting someone. Someone...anyone? no. *sigh* I miss having that. Having someone that WANTS to talk to me WANTS to spend time with me...just wants to be with me. Someone that will care about me...that will drop some time for me. Somebody that will apprectiate me and love all of me for who I am. Someone who'll keep on surprising me. Someone who understands my stupid jokes or weird quirks. Someone who I can talk to until the wee hours of the morning when all the rest of the world is asleep and it seems like it is just the two of us alone. I want somebody who cares...and shows it. Somebody to share this with. I want somebody to make me happy...to LOVE. Somebody that just "clicks" Am I too picky? *sigh* wow...I'm probably gonna read this later on tonight and regret writing it. But this is how I feel. I mean...it's not like it's anything driving me particularly crazy...maybe it is, I dunno. Things are just so confusing and up in the air right now and I don't know how to calmly handle them when I can't even sort out my own emotions. I wanna be in control of this...but maybe it's not supposed to be that way. "I want you to want me/I need you to need me/I'd love you to love me/I'm beggin you to beg me/Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'/ohhh didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'/Feeling all alone without a friend you feel like dyin'/ohh didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?" ~Letters to Cleo Ok yeah...really really cheesey song. But that's what I think of whenever I think of stuff like that "I want you to want me" haha. Did they put that song in 10 Things I Hate About you? Hmm. I wonder if Cirque deu Sole (no clue if I spelled that right) week is over. Ahh soo awesome~if you've never seen it they might still be showing it on Bravo. Anyways...enough rambling...gonna go work on projects (heh) ~Jen |